Am I a Bad Mom?

In a world of super-moms, I inevitably fall short. Sure, we all make mistakes, but are our biggest mistakes the things we leave out? Can you be a bad mom by omission?

For example, I was cruising around Pinterest tonight and I saw this...

A gosh darned turtle burger. I have never made a turtle burger. I have never made a turtle anything. On top of that I have never turned a burger into anything that resembled anything except a burger. And quite frankly, they are usually lopsided.

Is my kid missing out on some great part of life because he's never had a turtle burger? What if he goes to a friend's house and that kid's mom makes a turtle burger and then Kiddopotamus asks why I've never done that for him?

And don't you think for a second that won't happen. Kids are ungrateful - not because they're bad - just because they're kids. I came home from a sleepover once asking my mom why she didn't love me enough to buy "real mayonnaise" instead of Miracle Whip. Guess what? Miracle Whip was banned from the house and we've been getting Best Foods ever since.

See, moms are superior at feeling inferior. That's the way it's always been, before Pinterest; before Facebook. There has always been a place for moms to get together to try to impress each other. Whether it was PTA meetings, bake sales, church potlucks, you name it. With more and more working moms, and soccer practices, and therapy sessions, it's hard for moms to get together in person, so they do it online.

Social media sites are dysfunctional in a way because you only see what people want you to see, whether that's good or bad, it's up to them. People can share pictures of things they think are interesting and never actually have anything more to do with them than that. Just because someone pins enough crock pot recipes to fill a cook book, doesn't mean they actually even intend to make them. At least at the church potluck you could compare your real-life pies and come away with a sense of pride / shame.

So let's take a look at what we know. At least one person in this world made a turtle burger. They took a picture of it and that picture ended up on the internet. That's it, the rest is a mystery. Turtle burger may have been a tremendous flop. It might have been raw in the middle and given the whole family food poisoning. It may have permanently damaged their turtle-loving child to eat their beloved animal friend. The family labradoodle might have jumped up and eaten it right off the table.

Don't let turtle burger make you feel like you've done something wrong. You don't have to make a turtle burger to be a good mom... But I do. And I'm making that gosh darned turtle burger the next chance I get!

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