Why is it when you look for a haircut picture on the web all they show you are pictures of gorgeous people? Jessica Alba could swim in the ocean, fall asleep in the sand, and get a hermit crab stuck in her bangs and she would still look great. How does looking at pictures of Jessica Simpson's perfectly quaffed locks help me out? When I googled "haircuts for moms" I wasn't excepting to see a bunch of celebrities on the red carpet. That's not realistic for my hair at all.
Let me be clear, internet. When I asked you to show me pictures of mom haircuts, I meant frazzled, tired, stressed out, fat moms like me, okay? I didn't mean Princess Kate's wedding hair. I meant hair that would go well with my fuzzy bathrobe. Something that could transition well from folding laundry on the couch to an emergency trip to a 24 hour pharmacy.
Ideally, I would like it to be something that would go well with both my first and my second chin. Hair I could wear up or down or while I eat pizza rolls. Hopefully something that still looks like a haircut after Caleb uses it to wipe his mouth, or climb to the top of my head, or hold onto during piggy-back rides.
A wash-and-go, if you're lucky you get to blow dry it, sometimes you might think about curling it but the iron is not even hot before it's time to go... type of haircut. You know, mom hair. Not so long that it falls in the baby's diaper, but not too short for me to grab in clumps while I'm losing my mind. Long enough for Caleb to still be able to stroke it and tell me how much he loves how soft it is and short enough that I can lay my head on Mr. Papapotamus's chest without it getting stuck in his beard hairs. Nice medium length mom hair that still clogs the drain, but not that often. Is that so much to ask?
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Labels: I'm a Mom