When you get older you get wiser and when you get wiser, you start to say things your mom used to say. Except I'm a wordsmith, so I do it with a little bit of flair.
I had the foulest mouth when I was in high school. Don't even try to start a contest because you would lose. I used to weave elaborate tapestries of profanities that would have left a biker misty-eyed. Not only did I talk that way, I was proud of it. Proud that I was shedding the burden of society and not living by the conformist rules. Proud that I could combine several words together to make one new word that would forever change the way people swear.
Now I know better.
Now I know that a pretty girl with an ugly mouth is an ugly girl, and I'm not talking about looks, I'm talking about personality. My mom would always tell me, "you're too pretty to talk like that" to which I would reply that the words we say don't effect the way we look at all. But they do. They effect the way we look to other people. And while we may not worry about people judging us for who we are, I think it's wrong to let people judge us for who they think we are.
The mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart, so it makes sense for someone to assume that someone speaking harsh and hateful words is a harsh and hateful person. I never felt harsh or hateful. I thought of myself as loyal and compassionate, but those were not the words that I spoke and so those were not the people that I attracted and those were not the "friends" I made.
If I could go back in time and talk some sense into myself I wouldn't say, "you're too pretty to talk like that". I would say, you're too smart to talk like that. You can articulate yourself better than that. You can find a better way to express yourself, you know more meaningful words, you can use your words to paint a thousand pictures that will accurately portray how you feel.
Okay, maybe you've figured out I am speaking to a handful of very clever young ladies. To them I say:
Don't speak hate when hate is not in your heart and when you're angry - go ahead - be angry, but don't sin. Don't build a habit out of speaking in a way that makes people close their ears to you. Gosh, seriously, you are SO SMART, and so wonderful, and I know you are on your way to being a level-headed and highly educated woman. Your words can be strong and full of power and intelligence - so don't waste them on garbage words.
Also, I swear if you talk like that again I will grab you, turn you upside down and shake you until every dirty word you've ever heard falls out of your ears. See? That was colorful and not a bit of filth.
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Labels: I'm a Mom