The first make or break parenting decision you face after you squirt your kid into the world is what name to give the little tyke. You want to pick something normal, but not too bland. Original, but not too inventive. Preferably something that looks how it sounds.
On one hand, I take this job very seriously. On the other hand, I have a really un-getable sense of humor sometimes and unfortunately my kids are just going to have to bear the brunt of it every now and again. Here are my real life name suggestions (all shot down by Mr. Papapotamus) that didn't make the cut.
(Based on a true story Facebook post)... (First and middle name only, my last name isn't really Potamus)
- John Connor Potamus
- Leader of the human resistance against the machines.
- Drew Brees Potamus
- He won a Super Bowl, y'all.
- General Lee Potamus
- Wouldn't that make the Southern side of the family so proud that I named him after the car in Dukes? And General is a very commanding name. Get it?!
- Bob Potamus
- Mr. Bob is a wonderful coworker of Mr. Papapotamus who recently bestowed upon us close to 10lbs of shepherds pie. For that, I offer him my child's legal name
- Bobby Drake Potamus
- I came up with this one right after offering to name our child after Mr. Bob, but I have to say it is a close second to John Connor.
- Johnny Rico Potamus
- Did you know that Starship Troopers was nominated for an Oscar?
Here are the girl names:
- June Carter Cash Potamus
- I just really like her, ya know?
- Moon Child Potamus
- Search around, look at what you see... Baby Daddy shot this one down without even asking where it came from!
- Avery Olivia Potamus
- Piece this together and it means, Elf Council/Ruler, Elf Army. He's the one who likes The Lord of the Rings so much. You'd think he'd thank me. (Plus, Avery is totally the name from the girl in Dog with a Blog!)
- Jean Grey Potamus
- There are no pearly gates for Superheros; it's a pearly revolving door.
- Crysticuffs Kittyface Potamus
- After my characters in both Oblivion and Skyrim
- Emily Elizabeth Potamus
- I think he would have gone for this one if our little Kiddopotamus hadn't asked him to read Clifford the Big Red Dog as a bedtime story
Perhaps this list of names will make us ask again if I'm a bad mom. And while we are currently keeping our officially chosen names under wraps, I can assure you that they are nice normal names. We have 2 girl names and 1 boy name that get the stamp of approval from all the Potamuses. None of them have ever been in a cartoon, video game, movie, or comic book, much to my chagrin.
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Labels: I'm Pregnant